- How did baby poop-colored nail polish 1) come to be so frighteningly accurate, and 2) so coveted by the masses?
- Why are dudes who have no clue/don’t care always blessed with the longest, curliest, lushest eyelashes?
- Why do tweens with porcelain skin and no dark circles wear enough foundation to cover a rump roast and go to Target in full-beat glam?
- Why are Instagram brow tails SO sharp?
- Why do I remember to bring that 14th tube of pinkish nude lipstick but forget my phone at home?
- Why do I feel the need to keep three sticks of half-used MAC Teddy Eye Kohl in my makeup bag?
- Why does one feel compelled to buy — not one, not two — but FIVE (*rolls eyes*) ? different bougie foundations/face tints at the Sephora VIB sale, even though one knows they will just end up wearing MAC Face & Body half the time anyway?
- Why do the makeup powers that be do lame sh*t like discontinue the world’s best brown pencil liner (I’m talking to you, person who took MAC Coffee away from me!)?
- Has the “influencer”/brand collaboration trend hit its peak?
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